Two Americans emigrate to New Zealand from Colorado,
USA.
We talk about
our life in Nelson, New Zealand.
August 2008 | Blog home | October 2008
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A little while back Don and I went for a walk at Nelson's historic Wakapuaka Cemetery where historic Nelsonians and their families have been buried for nearly 150 years. We took Joe and Deanna there for a walk when they visited in June
. It's full of fascinating grave markers that give you a true sense of history.
It also has amazing views out to the haven, the inlet area of water between the Boulder Bank and the foreshore. So many of the headstones have fallen down from age and wearing, but the engraving still tells quite a story. 
There are lots of recognisable names for folks who've been in Nelson awhile to know.
Not that I get around to visiting many cemeteries, but it was interesting to note that the deceased are buried in areas according to their religion, from Jewish to Anglican to Presbyterian and on. Guess you don't leave your clique even when you die. It's like high school all over again!!
If you're in Nelson, I highly recommend you take a walk around this cemetery, it's open most days of the year and is located on a steep slope with amazing views. You could walk around or you could sit and read or 
listen to music or watch the water. There's a great Nelson walk that takes you up and around the hills, one that you could extend for as long as you want to walk all the way back to the CBD.
It's taken enough time, but I finally started fitting my favourite kiwi word 'wee' into my everyday speaking, but only sparingly and it does stick out when it comes out of my mouth. At first, it didn't take long to pick up on basic kiwi-isms and it took a little while to change the spelling of words, especially because I had a job where I had a big writing responsibility. Mostly it was putting 's' where there used to be a 'z' but there are also some weird spellings of words (ie tire is tyre, judgement keeps it's 'e'), and focussing which has two 's' and trialling which has two 'l's. There are other words that fall along on this pattern that are a constant challenge, but I'm starting to come right!
One awesome thing is that they don't use as much punctuation like Mr. and Mrs. don't have periods (known as full stops) and there are few uses of hyphens (they aren't used in phone numbers), which makes it heaps easier for typing and writing. I mean, how many periods do you need, really? Who cares if there is a period after Mr?
Beyond now talking like a kiwi, I am finally also comfortable understanding most kiwis. You think when you move to an English-speaking country that you'll get along fine, but the accent really really throws you. When I first meet someone, I often can't understand them half of the time, and am constantly asking, 'what?' It gets a little embarrassing. This was the case when I became an official staff member at my job and my boss has one of those thick accents, I was constantly misunderstanding her and I really struggled for while! But as you get to know people, you get used to how they speak. I think now, after more than two years, I'm finally getting the hang of it and feel pretty comfortable with only the occasional, 'what?'
One of the best parts about learning a 'new' language is all the colloquialisms. There's the 'get a big black dog and shove it up your bum.' Don't forget the 'bugger' everything: bugger this, bugger that, bugger off, bugger all (kinda a different meaning to the others), oh bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger. They love bugger. In case you may not know, same as in England, it's basically another F or S word.
And one of my workmates is a metaphor Queen! Or a simile queen, I can't remember the difference and I'm too lazy to look it up on Google. Here are a few of her sayings that I hear all the time:
"Crook as a dog's hind leg" which means that you're really, really sick (ill), with crook short for crooked.
"Like a seagull on a hot chip" or "Like a rat up a drain pipe" which both mean that you're really keen for something. Keen being the first kiwi word I think I picked up.
"Flat out like a lizard" which means you're really busy.
"The cheese has fallen off that cracker" which means you're looney tunes.
"Rare as hen's teeth" which, because hen have no teeth, means something is pretty darn rare.
"Pissed as a chook" which means you're big time drunk (a chook being a chicken)
"Have a fair suck of the sav" which means have a fair chance at something, with the 'sav' being short for savaloy which apparently is a sausage.
"Silly as a wet hen"
"Off like a robber's dog (bride's nightie can also be substituted)"
"Mad as a meat axe"
"All over the place like a mad woman's kitchen"
Where is he? "Up the booeye shooting pukekos [type of bird found here] with a spade handle" Means I don’t know or I know but it's none of your business….
I could go on, and maybe I have too long! Too funny.
Don's gotten on board with lots of words, just yesterday using the word 'dear' for the first time that I can recall. Dear can mean expensive, more expensive, costly, pricey, etc. He said something was dear and that was all I heard, then I laughed - but on the inside.
So it may be a few more years until we can apply to be citizens, but we're doing a good imitation now!
Since the entire world was stunned by the news, yours truly included, everyone in the world seems to have an opinion. I've been hearing from so many of my kiwi friends about this Sarah Palin lady, what do I think, who is she, etc.
For those of you interested, this was in the Wellington Dominion Post on 8 September:
Sarah emerges, guns blazing
By LINLEY BONIFACE
The Dominion Post | Monday, 08 September 2008
For a thrilling moment last week, I assumed the headline "McCain Chooses Palin as Running Mate" referred not to Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin but to British TV presenter Michael Palin.
How intriguing their foreign policy would be, I mused. McCain would kick swarthy foreigners' butts; Palin would meander up to them in an old straw hat, offer them a gingernut and compliment them on their rail network.
McCain and Palin both seem affable sort of blokes, and I was happily imagining the two of them performing the dead parrot sketch to a baffled Vladimir Putin in the Oval Office when I spotted a second news headline pointing out that the Palin in question was Sarah, rather than Michael.
On the face of it, Sarah Palin was only a marginally more surprising choice.
A former beauty queen and "hockey mom" whose only experience of public administration till 2002 was being mayor of a town with a total of three traffic lights, Palin seemed such a ludicrous addition to the ticket that I momentarily wondered if McCain was a closet Obama supporter.
Palin herself seemed to be shooting not for the vice- presidency, but for a role in Legally Blonde III. "As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what it is exactly that the VP does every day," she trilled to a reporter.
Given McCain's age and state of health – "she's pro-life and he's clinging to life," as Jay Leno remarked – it was hard not to shudder at the thought of Palin's response to the 3am phone call scenario that Hillary Clinton used to such effect in her campaign ads ("It's 3am, and your children are safe and asleep. Who do you want to answer the phone?"). I'm figuring Palin would either assume the 3am call came from a telemarketer, and refuse to answer it, or send her husband ("the first dude") to give the caller a piece of her mind. Frankly, she can't spare it.
Palin's main credentials for winning the chance to play Katie Holmes to McCain's Tom Cruise appear to be that she is really good at fishing, loves guns and babies, looks hot even in librarian spectacles and, in the words of former Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson, is "the only candidate who knows how to field-dress a moose". The West Wing – a televisual wet dream for liberals – featured a president who had a Nobel Laureate in economics, spoke four languages, played chess and had heavyweight tastes in literature. It's hard to imagine any of these qualities being celebrated on the 2008 campaign trail.
In American politics, intelligence is interpreted as elitism; idealism is seen as naivety. Barack Obama has undermined his chances of being elected president by being too serious, too visionary, too committed, when what the voters really want is someone fun.
Why choose a vice-president with, say, innovative ideas for health policy reform when you could have one who, when thrown into a river in full flood, would not only swim to safety but climb up the riverbank clutching a prime-condition Chinook salmon between her teeth? Who says snowmobiling is any less important than diplomacy? And isn't it better to be cool and mediocre than dull and smart?
Perhaps the most cynical of the Republican Party's reasons for recruiting Palin is the assumption that women of all political stripes will vote for her simply because she is a woman. Margaret Thatcher taught British women the danger of casting their votes solely on the grounds of the presence of breasts; in Thatcher's time in power, she froze child benefits, mocked the provision of workplace creches, elevated only one woman to her cabinet and, far from advocating for families and communities, declared "there is no such thing as society".
Palin's contribution to women is likely to consist of seeking to overturn Roe v Wade – on which US abortion law is based. Still, it's all working out so well for Palin that I expect New Zealand politicians to adopt a similar strategy. Bill English may have six kids – one more than Palin – but he's not nearly as cute as her and I doubt he could field- dress a kereru, let alone a moose. Surely it's time for John Key to dump him as deputy and bring in Nicky Watson.
Unlike America's election cycle which seems to last four years between every four year presidential election, New Zealand's elections are every three years and the election cycle runs about 2 months at a maximum. I mentioned to you a few months ago in a blog how the election season is announced and that no one can campaign outside of that election season. The party in office announces the campaign schedule and the date that the whole country - residents like us included! - go to the polls.
On Friday 12 September Prime Minister Helen Clark announced that the election would take place on Saturday (what a concept, a weekend day!) 8 November. And I mean 8 November 2008, not next year, not 14 months away, but a mere two months away. I'm gonna have a busy voting week that week, I just hope that I won't be going to the polls here with tears in my eyes from that other election. <Keeping chin up and hopeful!>
Here is the schedule, as per Clark's announcment:
I have advised the Administrator of the Government today that the date for the dissolution of parliament will be 3 October.
Writ day will follow on 8th October and nomination day will be on 14th October.
The general election will be held on 8th November.
I'm reposting here the chart for reference that I had in my prior blog.
And now the campaigning can begin, and it did in earnest on day one. But I'm not really focussed on this election like I am on that other one way over there, I mean without the 2-3 year buildup, it'll seem like premature ejaculation by the time this election is done in a mere two months. As an ardent political watcher, I definitely need more foreplay than that!
Help me Obi-wan, you're my only hope.
Okay, so aside from the fact that the financial markets around the world are collapsing, the American election is getting super nasty with all the lies and bullshit, and the same is starting here with our own election, it has been a week of the absurd. I am boggled beyond words right now at the letter I just opened.
But first, try this one on for size. When we arrived in New Zealand, there was a marked difference in the number of cell phone users who regularly communicate with each other by text. Then there was talk of it being okay for kids to use text language on their school exams, because every language evolves and this is the natural way of things. Sure. So here you go, here's what we have now. From a colleague sent to our professional listserv:
Hi there
I provide for you below a copy of an email sent to our Youth Council co-ordinator from one of our Youth Councillors... I'm a little too thaaaaat side of 30 to decipher this, but felt it raised some concern around future communication with some age groups!
Communications Manager, South Waikato District Council
To: Jill ###
Subject: RE: Minutes 290708hae jill/
I got an isea, mayb getting da 2 teamsta gt into a rectngles nd hv dem
pass a rugby ball rwnd da rectngle nd wen a person passes da ball den u
gta run arwnd da rectngle nd beat da ball bk 2 wea u strted frm......ne
Q's den txt or email me..
OWT
Huh? I would think this raises a whole helluva lotta concern. Can you even understand this? Well, another colleague gave it a go and translated for those of us, like my colleague above, also on that side of 30:
hae jill/
Dear Mrs Jill,
I got an isea, mayb getting da 2 teamsta gt into a rectngles nd hv dem
pass a rugby ball rwnd da rectngle nd wen a person passes da ball den u
gta run arwnd da rectngle nd beat da ball bk 2 wea u strted frm......If you please, I have spent some time developing an idea that may suit
our future meetings, going forward. The concept revolves around a
physical rectangle, made up of our very own young people. As we
carefully introduce a ball from the game of rugby union, the person who
begins the activity is required to race the ball around the outside of
the rectangle, trying desperately to return to his or her initial
position before the ball reaches the spot where he or she originated.Ne Q's den txt or email me..
I apologise for my crude description of this activity and would
understand if you have some questions that need answering. I suggest
that you feel free to e-mail or text me with those questions, if any,
and I will undertake to respond without delay.OWT
Yours sincerely,
Now to the truly absurd, the most flabbergasting news EVER. I give you the introduction to the letter I received today. When I first read it, I landed on the floor laughing in a fit of tired rage and incredulity. I mean, seriously, what the FU*K??? Really, what is so crazy tough about getting off your horse and putting some f***ing technology in one of New Zealand's most popular cities?
Dear Donald and Angela
We are writing to update you on the expected date for connecting you to Telecom Broadband.
We originally informed you that we expected to connect you to Telecom Broadband within 6 months. However there will be a further delay to when broadband coverage will be extended in your street, which means that we now expect to connect you to Telecom Broadband in February 2010. Please accept our apologies for this further delay.
WAIT! We have options, though. We can either pay $30 more per month than we used to pay for full broadband for a mobile broadband data card (given to us free of charge, cost is typically $350) and get 1/3 of the download allowance than we had before (2GB as opposed to 6GB) OR we can keep on with free unlimited dialup. For another YEAR AND A HALF.
I cannot comprehend this news, it simply isn't penetrating my brain. Do you know what we have to do to get decent internet time? We have to take broadband from my friend Kate, literally drive 30 minutes one way to her house and sit there and do all our heavy duty surfing. This is how we are getting by. That's because in town, no one uses Telecom, they use Vodaphone - and Vodaphone doesn't mix with Windows Vista. So we cannot even go into an internet cafe in town and use our computer. I think we live on Pluto, I seriously do. And Pluto, just in case you have forgotten, was DOWNGRADED as a planet, we aren't even on a planet to speak of any more. We are nowhere.
Just so you get the full picture, Telecom owns ALL the broadband lines. You can get service through a variety of providers, but they all lease Telecom's lines. It's a true monopoly, not much different to Air New Zealand. This is a drawback to living in a small country, no doubt.
OMG. Shoot me now.
It might be becoming pretty clear to you all that I'm turning into what Brian would probably call a big time tree hugging granola. I'm sure there's a cooler, hipper name for what we used to call those Birkenstock wearing folk back at Puget Sound, but I'm not all that cool or hip anymore (nor was I ever, for that matter!).
We've been doing all our fresh produce and fruit shopping locally, have made the environmental shift in a big way, and recently I made the switch to all natural products for my hair, face and skin. I've come to adore the shampoo and conditioner, they make such a difference for my hair. And the facial products have really helped my skin, I've been having some issues for awhile now that are gone! I also have purchased some natural makeup, but I'm not too keen on that one.
None of these products are necessarily organic, but just made from all natural ingredients. In fact I was getting concerned about how I would handle an SPF moisturiser as spring is coming on, but I just purchased a natural one that is SPF 18, and it sinks into my skin so much nicer than the chemical brands.
So when the annual Ecofest expo was on back in mid August, I read all about the latest products and items available for those of us who are eco friendly and health conscious about those chemicals, and I was fascinated about this product called Soap Nuts by the Global Soap company here in Nelson, from whom I've purchased at the Saturday Market (they have a fascinating shampoo bar that is like a soap bar, only all natural and great lathering, I have this too!).
Soap Nuts is an 'earth friendly laundry soap.' It is biodegradable and natural, and it lasts a lot longer than commercial washing machine soaps, so it is economical. The Soap Nuts, which grow on trees, are native to Nepal and India where they have been used for centuries. They grow on the Sapindus Mukorossi tree and are actually a fruit the size of a cherry. They contain saponin which, according to the Soap Nuts pamphlet, is 'nature's own detergent.' When they come into contact with water they make mild suds. They can be used in both front and top loaders (we have a front, more economical!) and they work in any temperature.
You put about 4-5 nuts into a little cotton bag they give you (also organic) and you can use these about 4-5 times in the wash before they lose their saponin.
You can also put in a few drops of any essential oil into the bag - I did this with lavender, my favourite, and the clothes and washing machine all have a light scent, fab! Plus for those who use a fabric softener it isn't necessary because the soap nuts leave the laundry soft.
The information pamphlet also says that because they are natural, soap nuts are ideal for people with sensitive skin and they can help alleviate eczema and psoriasis, plus they are hypoallergenic. Don and I have some skin irritation issues, but I've only done one round of laundry with them so far, none of which I've worn against my skin yet, so I can't evaluate that claim just yet.
Once the soap nuts have run their course, they are completely biodegradable so I just put them into the compost bin. Then add another set to the small cotton baggie, and you're off. The picture above is a 250g bag and costs NZ$15. You can buy a 500g bag for NZ$25. Based on the amount of nuts in the bag, I expect the bag to last me at least 5 months, if not longer - I can go through a $5 box of detergent at least once a month, if not sooner. Already it seems they will save me money! My clothes are softer, they actually smell better than they do when I use a commercial soap. Fingers crossed!
FASCINATING, no?
